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I'm beautifully broken and I don't mind if you know it...

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17th October 2003

10:20pm: Now here i sit, so far away
Remembering all our memories
Its times like these that I miss you most
Remembering when we were so close

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start

7th February 2003

10:04pm: WHATEVER
Current Mood: annoyed

6th February 2003

9:22pm: And you
Bring me to my knees
Again
All the times
That I could beg you please
In vain
All the times
That I felt insecure
For you
But I leave
My burdens at the door

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside your ugly
Your ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I felt like this won't end
Was for you
And I taste
What I could never have
It's from you
All the times
That I've tried
My intentions
Full of pride
But I waste
More time than anyone

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside your ugly
Your ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I've cried
All this wasted
It's all inside
And I feel
All this pain
Stuffed it down
It's back again
And I lie
Here in bed
All alone
I can't mend
But I feel
Tomorrow wil be OK

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside your ugly
Your ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

28th January 2003

7:39pm: Love can be explained in one word...Trust...Tust that he doesn't cheat on you,trust that he doesn't lie to you,trust that he really likes you,trust that he doesn't like other girls the same way,trust that he will stick up for you,trust that he will never fall in love with another girl,trust that he won't just get sick of you,and trust that he wants you like you want him....

20th January 2003

10:33am: Friends don't lie to each other,
Neither do they try to cover,
Up all the things that they feel inside,
The things that they truly want to hide.

But friends do lie all the time,
Even the friends that are mine,
One story from him and one from her,
I know it all but don't want to stir.

I'm stuck in the middle of a complicated plot,
just dying to ask the questions I've got.
Not knowing which way to turn,
Hoping that in time they'll learn.

Torn between two people with another standing by,
In the end we'll all get dropped from way up high,
Not knowing how soft the landing.
Will the friendships stay standing.

If one discovers the others lie,
Do I stand and watch them cry,
Or do I pretend not to know,
And hurt the other as I go.

All these worries build up inside,
Making me want to run and hide.
I could always go on being their cover.
Friends don't lie to each other!!!!



Lying is done with words and also with silence.

Always tell the truth. Then you'll never have to remember what you said the last time.

If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.

O, what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!


What YOUR info should be-
"Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically--for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist--but then what isn't?"




I had this in my subprofile because I was confused...And now I took it out..Iam still confused....BUT I don't know anymore...It is like hey who cares...you know?
10:30am: After all of the stealing and cheating you probally think that I hold resentment for you
But uh-uh no you're wrong cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a lil bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter!!!

19th January 2003

11:25pm: There's always something
In the way
There's always something
Getting through
But it's not me
it's You

Sometime's ignorance
Rings true
But hope is not in
What I know
Not in me
It's in You

It's all I know

And I find peace
When I'm confused
I find hope when
I'm let down
Not in me
But in You

I hope to lose myself
For good
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me
It's You
It's all I know
10:31pm: [Chorus]
I would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rhines,
but the lack thereof
would leave me empty inside.
I would swallow my doubt,
turn it inside out,
find nothing but faith
in nothing.
I want to put my tender
heart in a blender,
watch it spin around
to a beautiful oblivion.
Rendezvous
then I'm through with you.
I burn burn
like a wicker cabinet,
chalk white
and oh so frail.
I see our time
has gotten stale.
The tick tock
of the clock is painful,
so sane and logical.
I want to tear it
off the wall.
I hear words
and clips and phrases.
I think sick
like ginger ale.
My stomach turns
and I exhale.

[Chorus]
So Cal is where
my mind states,
but it's not my
state of mind.
I'm not as
ugly sad as you.
Or am I origami?
Folded up and
just pretend.
Demented as
the motives in your head.
[Chorus]
I alone
am the one you don't
know you need.
Take heed.
Feed your ego.
Make me blind
when your eyes close sink.
When you get close,
tie me to the bedpost.
I alone
am the one you don't
know you need.
You don't know
you need me.
Make me blind
when your eyes close.
Tie me to the bedpost!
[Chorus]
Now I'm through,
with you.
Through with you!
Rendezvous,
then I'm through with you
Current Mood: confused

10th January 2003

1:13pm: blech
Current Mood: confused

11th December 2002

7:42pm: blah
Current Mood: calm

10th December 2002

10:24pm: I’d like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate willfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth’s the right place for love:
I don’t know where it’s likely to go better.
I’d like to go by climbing a birch tree,
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.
Current Mood: weird

13th November 2002

10:03pm: People can be pretty stupid sometimes....That is a fact....It is funny to watch how people live their lives....

19th December 2001

10:56pm: Check it out!
I just got this thing...Pretty cool eh? lol
Only 2 school days left till vaction..yay! I need me a break..hehehe
Iam not really tired though...Iam watching Beaches and getting ready for bed...
Last night my sister killed a opussum...It was so loud...It was like THUD THUD it was so sad!!! lol
Well Iam going to bed...night
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